lol, civic obligation

Funny thing is, I already received a summons once before, but I wasn't qualified since I was underage.

Not even two years later, and all of a sudden I'm competent enough to decide another's fate.

I have to find a way out of this. So I did what I do whenever I'm in need of guidance. I asked Internet.

"If possible, find out before the screening phase what you're being called to testify on. Make statements that make you sounds hugely biased. For example, if it's a lawsuit against a corporation, claim to despise corporations and to be a hardline Communist."

"filibuster"

"for fuck's sake...this is one of the most important civic responsibilities we have.

if the time they need you is time you have available, go and make a fucking difference. geez."

"Just be a total ass and tell them you'll find him guilty no matter the evidence. They'll drop you in a heartbeat."

"What's the problem? They pay you $100 a day free, then you get paid breakfast, lunch, and dinner, plus a free hotel suite, plus they pay for your transportation..."

"Show up in a t-shirt and jeans. They'll have a fucking fit, seriously. Second best bet is act racist."

"Say to them - "How long is this going to take? Because I have (insert important anime) to watch." And bring a watch (the bigger the better) and keep looking at it every now and then. That should really piss them off. Don't know if it'll help with what you want though."

"The only ways out of jury duty are a doctor signed medical excuse or getting yourself thrown out of the jury pool. IF YOU SOMEHOW MAKE IT PAST THE POOL AND GET SELECTED DO NO FUCK AROUND DURING THE TRIAL! YOU WILL BE FOUND IN CONTEMPT OF COURT AND BE FINED OUT THE ASS!"

"Claim you have bowel movement problems. Always works."

"Say you hate niggers"

"Just tell them you'd pull the switch and fry the bastard yourself if it would get you out of there faster. This helps if it's the defence questioning you at the time. Just make sure to find out what the case is. If it's high profile, you can write a book afterward and never have to work a day."

"My mother was able to escape jury duty once because my sister has downsyndrome, and she has to have adult supervision. Perhaps you can hit one of your siblings really hard."

"just say you read alot of books, are heavily opinionated and eat babies."

Well, I have until April to figure it out. Meanwhile, I have (insert important anime) to watch.