Claptrappery

The Talented Mr. Ripley monologue

When I first tried this in class, I did it at the piano, like in the movie, playing the only song I know. I took it slowly, more so than in this clip, proceeding pretty much whenever everything felt green, like playing Frogger. Everyone was pretty captivated, and I'm sure the pacing of my song helped a lot. Instead of offering directorial advice, Ken said he had nothing to add.

Then Nick, seeing right through me, asked, "What's he going to do in an audition where there's no piano?" Ken said, "Let's find out."

Obviously, the result is quite different without a prop to occupy me. It felt good, but after looking at it, it seems sort of lifeless. Maybe it's just the fan.

Impromptu senior service story

I forgot I had to come into class with a story ready to tell. The night before, I had been talking to my roommate about the Northern Valley Arts Festival, and especially about my relationship with Paul Vecchio. I had no idea how I would compact it into a single story, but I gave it a shot. I pretty much failed, because it took about ten minutes to finish, and I still missed a lot.

Still, I got applause and sympathy. Ken said he didn't understand what the hell I was talking about, but enjoyed my energy. He said I reminded him of Steve Buscemi. I was honored.

Sometimes I feel like the only reason my performances are impressive is because they belie my apparent social nature. I don't think studio executives will give a shit about my social nature, though.

[Ken was forced to cut out much of the story, including Stink Van, Charles Zhu, and Vecchio's usurpation of my home.]